Insanity for Sanity
I remember the moment when I decided I would have to be a little insane to be sane.
It was ten years ago and I was sitting in my mentor's office, the old beige broadloom and weathered sofa pattern, a fog on the small window facing St. Clair Avenue - pedestrians huddling under the bus shelter down below as the seasonal rains came down.
If you want to continue to wake up, you have to do the work - she said.
I had started a meditation practice - nothing fancy, just a few minutes of conscious breathing every morning. I had missed a few days of my practice and shared, in a kind of shocked way, how out of balance I felt. The self-judgment looking in the mirror, the pile of clothes on my bed after taking for-EVER to get out of the house, the feeling of irritability on the streetcar...wanting to go home and hide away from life.
Once you open the door to a conscious life, you can't close it again, she whispered.
How unfair. This is insane! I have to do this repetitive stuff every single day, or else I feel more out of whack?! I felt trapped and wanted to retreat to a place that no longer existed.
Is it sane to remind my sons to breathe through their nose every time they get into a toy tug of war? Better than snapping at them in an ugly tone.
Is it sane to "surrender" my day to a power greater than myself? Better than having micro-managing Natalie reign over.
Is it sane to repeat the same mantra over and over whenever I notice the negative thoughts? Better than get stuck in the analysis-paralysis that leaves me depleted and demoralized.
What are you willing to do to feel more sane?
Moms, want to bring more mindfulness into your life and work?
I’m curious to hear from other moms how they are managing their own insanities! So Join me tonight (Tues October 2nd, 8.30pm) for my free online workshop on how to navigate motherhood + livelihood in a mindful way!
Email email@example.com to register
Come for the tips, the mindfulness practice, and the facilitated discussion!
Can't make it tonight but still keen?
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I can't wait to hear from you!!